I Have Been Assigned the Single Bird: “Listening to the Birds”
Listening to the Birds
BY SUSAN CERULEAN
Excerpted from I Have Been Assigned the Single Bird: A Daughter’s Memoir
by Susan Cerulean (University of Georgia Press, 2019)
For many years, I have watched over wild birds on coastal islands along the northern Gulf coast. That is my sacred profession. Seabirds and shorebirds lay their eggs in shallow scrapes on sandy open beaches between the high tide line and dune grasses, the only place they can nest and continue their kind.
You’ve seen shorebirds standing on the beach, and maybe thought they were loafing without particular purpose. But between forays to fish, shorebirds need time undisturbed to rest, regroup, and dry, re-order and oil their feathers. They cannot hide. They simply try to remain in the only places they can live. With our ways, we crowd them, we push them away. That’s if we notice them at all.
My favorite thing is to find a resting clot of shorebirds and nestle into a dune to watch them go about their lives. On a recent day, the flock included dozens of Caspian terns intermingled with black skimmers. The sand where they stood was compacted by hundreds of tern and pelican toes. Royal terns were off to themselves. Pairs of laughing gulls mated; a south borne wind lifted their feathers. Sanderlings and a few black-bellied plovers stepped through the crowd.
Our task is to watch over the world with such care.
On the outskirts of the colony, I spied a single roving snowy plover chick. On long spindled legs, the chick investigated the beach all alone, its voice trilling a tiny stream of audible bubbles. He resembled a little marshmallow Easter chick, except covered with gray and buff down, instead of yellow sugar. No tail, no feathers at all, a soft white cowl on the back of his neck. I watched him stop to scratch his chin with a naked black foot.
I couldn’t tell if that tiny chick alerted when the skimmers rose and circled, when their light nasal background honking shifted to a louder, more urgent waah waah waah. What and how did the chick know to fear? It could not know, as I did, that it had come highly endangered into a highly endangered world.
The parent plover knew. It flew back from the water’s edge to drive away a sanderling that had ventured too close to its young one; I hadn’t thought of a sanderling as a threat. If I was only able to visit the birds once in a great while, I wouldn’t feel the rhythm of their lives, nor witness the coast processing through its intricate seasonal and geological changes. I needed to be with them, seeing for myself what was at stake.
As the adult plover skirmished with the sanderling, its chick took refuge under a small green dune plant; but when the adult returned, the chick beelined to its parent, burrowing into the feathers of its breast. The newly hatched plover chick came into its world possessed of a bold life force. Plover chick, plover parent, and every other creature out there on that beach by rising Gulf waters do nothing but fully live their purpose. I wanted to rise up every morning and do the same.
Away ran the plovers, speeding over the sand. I sensed that the parent was rushing the chick past a laughing gull standing close by, which seemed smart. Even I knew the laughing gull meant danger. I was left alone with the little bird’s tracks. The creature carried so little weight, its prints were only whispers in the sand. I felt deeply happy to experience a short window into a plover’s life, to sit quietly near the rare birds I loved so much.
Then the wild birds spoke.
We all watch. At least one of us is always alert for the different thing, for the potential threat. The scared part of me that wants to live, sees the man when he’s only a dot crossing the water.
And when the boat tracks a straight line through the shoving waves and the sucking tide towards our beach, then my heart begins to pound, and my worry wakes the bird next to me, and the next one to her. The black skimmers are the first to scramble to their feet on the sand, and to fly. We terns unhook the single foot we have tucked and lifted into our bodies, and pull our heads from beneath our wings. The pelicans open both eyes, not just one, and begin to shift their weight. And all of our hearts beat harder still.
Because the boat is coming straight at us, and its colors frighten us–flaming orange and bright green. And because there is a flashing stick the human uses to propel himself straight towards our place on the open sand where we rest and mate and tend our eggs. There is no other place for us besides this length of sand. And so our hearts hammer in our chests. The skimmers unfurl their wings and test the air so they will be prepared when the final panic, the lift-urge overcomes them.
The man stands and unfolds his body from the boat. Nothing safe stands that tall on the sand, higher than the pelican’s beak yawning and stretching to the sun, higher and stiffer than a great blue heron, higher and more threatening than we can bear. A few of us tolerate the fear longer than others. Others jump into the air and swoop and turn, Aa–a-raw, aa-a-raw, we cry. And we will, all of us, leave our refuge, which no longer is one, because the man in the boat is pushing against our sand, the only place we can nest.
Surely he will understand from our voices and the displacement of our bodies, that we are scared, and that he must leave. But he does not. He lifts his pant leg and pees on our place and then he drags his boat further onto the sand. Our sand. He studies the signs that have been placed to protect us, but he misunderstands, or else he wants what he wants, more than he understands. Legions of us lift. Our flightless chicks scurry for cover, and we cannot protect them, nor our eggs, now baking in the sun.
The man stretches his arms taller yet, and surveys the beach. He pulls a tube of sunscreen from his pocket and sucks water from a bottle. Our voices are screaming and our blood is afraid and runs fast.
The man does not find what he was looking for, or he is bored, and so he drags his boat and his paddle through our place and slides his boat back into the sea–this time.
We are accustomed to the meander of the fins of dolphins in the water, and their leaping does not scare us, not even when they push mullet against the sand with their bodies. We accept the blood tax exacted by the eagle and the peregrine falcon. It is man and his dogs and the wild hogs he brought here, that we may not survive.
Every time a human intrudes in this way, into our small colonies, a cost is exacted from our nervous systems. Who will bring the human into right relationship with all the other beings? Who will?
How many, many times I have watched people walk right past protective barriers, right past the most beautiful interpretive signage we can create, straight into the tiny spaces we have managed to set aside for the wild birds to nest. Not everyone can be told what to do and then simply left to their own devices. A commitment to kindness and respect has to come from some deeper cultural training. Perhaps you have to be raised up in it. Somehow we must make this happen, because, as Kathleen Dean Moore has written, “This is the wonder-filled world that we are destroying, the lyric voices that we are silencing, the sanctity that we are defiling, at a rate and with a violence that cannot be measured.”
Until people change their minds, deeply, deeply change, and understand and respect the equivalent needs of all species for life, all we can rely on is law enforcement. The enforcers–wildlife officers and volunteer stewards (and there are never enough of them) –are all we have to keep people out of the sacred nesting places. Otherwise, ignorance and the desire to do whatever one pleases, rules, and wild things suffer.
“My heart sinks when the least terns arrive in April and begin breeding—or trying to,” a shorebird biologist told me. I understand his trepidation: the little birds’ pugnacity is no match for beach driving trucks, dogs, fireworks, and every manner of human intrusion into their nesting beaches. Shorebirds and seabirds are declining everywhere they exist, and some are already gone.
Like so many wild birds, least tern populations were destroyed by hunters who shot them, to use their feathers to adorn women’s hats. When the Migratory Bird Treaty Act was passed in 1916, and people began to change their attitudes toward conservation, least tern bounced back. But now, they are again so diminished by recreational, industrial, and residential development in their coastal breeding areas, they are specially classified for protection in much of its North American range. No other wide-ranging North American tern has that unfortunate distinction.
Our task is to watch over the world with such care.
What is the single most important thing that every one of us should do right now, given all that confronts us?
It is this: Don’t turn away. Face what threatens the unborn of all species with all of your strength and all of your heart.
We live in a time when the rights of humans and corporations supersede the rights of nature. This is what must change.
On a hot summer day, I searched out the last snowy plover chick hatched on the island Refuge that season. In its small roving body rested the last chance this year for our landscape to contribute to continuity of plovers, a single bird begun as an egg laid on this very sand.
I’d seen that chick and her parent on an earlier survey one week before, near the outfall of Oyster Creek. Just now, though, the beach seemed empty of everything but trash, and more trash. I picked up two enormous loads of plastic bottles and balloons. I saw no chick. I assumed it had been snatched by gull or ghost crab, vanished like all the others this season into the belly of a predator.
I circled back toward the east, and Little St. George Island, to continue the search. And there she was, flashing across the strand, her tiny body skittering, zigging and zagging, as she snapped at small flies. I followed her path with my binoculars, and she led me to a glorious surprise: 150 black terns, paused on their southbound journey to winter on the coast of South America. To my eye, they resembled small ebony sails temporarily furled. Sleek and gray and unexpected on the white of our sand. I’d never seen so many before.
It was a good place for that plover chick, threading through those black terns and a handful of others—least, Caspian, royal, gull-billed—all paused on the outer edge, between their summer and winter lands. I saw many fewer ghost crabs on the evanescent edge. The absence of their swift claws would give the chick a better shot at survival. Still: the last of the chicks, the last of the black terns.
In the 1920s, Arthur Bent described the black tern as the “most widely distributed, the most universally common, and most characteristic summer resident of the sloughs, marshes and wet meadows of the [Dakota] plains.” Since the 1960s, black terns have been declining at the rate of two or three percent each year. I have seen them only here, and on the leading edge of Little Saint George, their wings beating while the tips of their toes still touched the Refuge, itself disappearing, as well.
And yet, would I turn away from them? Never. We must linger longer, watching the beautiful things, watch them with exquisite attention, praying that their spirits will inform our actions on their behalf, and our own.
As the sun began to angle into the sea, I thought about how our planet and our sun had created this palette uncounted nightfalls, long before the plovers or I were born. Earth has turned in far lonelier eons, without bird or human. I staggered under a gratitude so weighty, I had to sink to my heels, for I had the privilege to share this time with the birds.
The flaming sun lit up the whole of my face. The wind lifted my hair. I closed my eyes and became simply another breathing presence on the sand. No boundaries.
In our saltwater and bones bodies, each one of us loves the birds this much. They companion us at this time on the planet, weavers of air current and nest cup. Their songs were our first music as a species, their call notes the first living patterns on our collective human eardrum. We learned percussion from the woodpecker, and to scream from the eagle, and to sing complicated melody from the warbler and the thrush.
Just as our bodies are constructed of the dust of stars, they also carry the memory of a time when our lives were always with the birds, out under the spread of the sky, when we lived without separation.
Earth must not be impeded by our destructive greed—whole populations, whole species, whole ecosystems, those we must and can protect. We live in a time when the rights of humans and corporations supersede the rights of nature. This is what must change. Transforming our culture, our assumptions, our worldview, our cosmology of separation, our economies–that is the single bird we must heal.
LITERATURE OF RESTORATION AND “LISTENING TO THE BIRDS”
I have longed for a Literature of Restoration since I was a child. From a young age I could only
write in a locked diary in a coded language I eventually forgot. What secrets were so dangerous
at 8 years of age? Who could have taught me what I needed to know?
As an elder, I have the privilege of dedicating my life to the Literature of Restoration, with the
intent of healing the splits between mind and body, wild bird and Western human, masculine and
feminine, shame and desire.
SUSAN CERULEAN
/ Author
BIO
Writer, naturalist and advocate Susan Cerulean has published three award-winning works of nonfiction with the University Press of Georgia: I Have Been Assigned the Single Bird: A Daughter’s Memoir (2019); Coming to Pass: Florida’s Coastal Islands in a Gulf of Change (2015); and Tracking Desire: A Journey after Swallow-tailed Kites (2005). She co-edited several anthologies, including Between Two Rivers: Stories from the Red Hills to the Gulf (2004) and Unspoiled: Writers Speak for the Gulf (2010).
As an activist and a speaker, she has traveled from Standing Rock Reservation to Key West. Her work with and on behalf of wild birds and the climate is infused by more than three decades living on and listening to the northern Gulf Coast.